Why is active listening so hard in relationships?

Because while they're talking, you're planning your defense or response. Your nervous system is activated. Active listening requires you to pause that and be fully present. It feels vulnerable and uncomfortable—but it's the foundation of connection.

What does active listening sound like?

"So if I'm hearing you right, you felt dismissed when I interrupted. Is that accurate?" You're checking understanding, not defending. It takes practice, but over time, your partner feels *seen*, and they're more willing to listen to you too.

What if I disagree with what they're saying?

Listening doesn't mean agreeing. You can say: "I hear that you felt hurt. I didn't intend that, but I understand why you felt that way." You're validating their experience while maintaining your perspective. Both can be true.