What does emotional availability actually mean?

Willingness to be vulnerable, capacity to focus on another person, ability to repair after conflict, and genuine interest in their inner world. You can have a high IQ and be emotionally unavailable. Emotional availability is psychological readiness for intimacy, not intelligence.

How do I know if I'm emotionally available?

Can you talk about feelings? Can you stay present during your partner's emotions without trying to fix or flee? Can you admit mistakes? Do you think about their experience, not just your own? If yes to most, you're available. If you answered no to any, you have work to do before serious relationships.

Can you build emotional availability or are you born with it?

You can absolutely develop it. Therapy, journaling, reading, and intentional practice improve emotional availability. If you're avoidant (difficulty with vulnerability), that's addressable. Start with small vulnerability and build. Most people have capacity for emotional availability; many just need to practice.