Does the higher earner get to make financial decisions?

No. Financial decisions should be joint regardless of income disparity. When high-earner unilaterally decides spending, investment, or savings, they're using money as power. Partnership requires that both voices matter equally. Income gap and decision-making authority should be separate issues.

Is it fair if the lower earner becomes dependent?

This needs upfront discussion. If one partner stays home for kids or supports the other's career, this should be an explicit choice with security. What happens if you divorce? Does the lower earner have retirement savings? Is there a timeline to return to work? Dependency only works if both parties feel secure and respected.

How do we prevent resentment over income difference?

Three practices: (1) both earn what you can without pressure or blame; (2) recognize non-financial contributions (parenting, home management, emotional support); (3) make major decisions jointly despite income gap; (4) ensure the lower earner has autonomy and savings. Income doesn't determine value in partnership.