What's the difference between a boundary and a wall?

Boundaries are permeable and flexible. "I need space when I'm upset, but I'll come back to talk." Walls are rigid and punitive. "I'm leaving and never talking to you again." Healthy boundaries maintain connection; walls destroy it.

Why are boundaries hard to set?

Usually from childhood. If you weren't taught boundaries, you don't know how to set them. You might feel selfish for having needs. Boundaries require practice and often trigger guilt. But they're essential for healthy relationships.

How do I set a boundary without sounding harsh?

"I love you, and I need you to [specific behavior] because [reason]. If that's not possible, I'll need to [consequence]." You're clear and kind. And you follow through—a boundary without consequences is just a request.