What counts as passive-aggressive behavior?

Subtle sabotage: forgetting important things on purpose, "accidentally" being late, agreeing but not following through, sarcasm masked as jokes, giving the silent treatment. It's anger expressed indirectly—you're punishing without admitting you're upset.

Am I passive-aggressive if I do this sometimes?

Occasionally, sure—we all have moments. But if it's a pattern, that's a problem. A partner notices the pattern and feels sabotaged, even if you claim innocence. The solution: recognize the anger and express it directly instead of acting it out.

How do I address passive-aggressive behavior in my partner?

Don't attack. Say: "I notice when I ask you to do X, it doesn't happen. I don't think you're trying to hurt me, but I feel hurt. Can we talk about why this is hard?" They'll often admit frustration they couldn't articulate. Direct conversation prevents the pattern.