What is unrequited love in Sternberg's framework?

It occurs when one person experiences a love triangle (especially infatuation, romantic, or consummate love) while the other experiences no love at all (or minimal liking). The triangles don't align—one is present, one is absent.

Why does unrequited love happen?

Often due to fantasy or projection—the person in love creates an idealized version of the other. They might have passion without true intimacy (not really knowing the person). The other may simply not reciprocate the feelings.

Is unrequited love a sign I need therapy?

Not necessarily. Most people experience it occasionally. However, if it's chronic, frequent, or prevents you from forming reciprocal relationships, therapy can help address patterns (anxious attachment, idealization, boundaries).

How do I move forward from unrequited love?

Accept reality (they don't return the feelings), grieve the loss, limit contact, redirect energy toward reciprocal relationships, and examine what attracted you (was it the real person or fantasy?). Time, distance, and new connections help.

Personalitysternberg-love attachment-styles

Unrequited Love: A One-Sided Triangle in Sternberg's Model

Peter Kolomiets

|April 1, 2026|Updated Apr 13, 2026|7 min read

Unrequited Love: A One-Sided Triangle in Sternberg's Model

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References

Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A Triangular Theory of Love
Aron, A., Aron, E. N., & Allen, J. (1998). The Experience of Unrequited Love
Sinclair, H. C., & Nelson, K. M. (1998). Coping with Unrequited Feelings in Close Relationships

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