Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)
An autism profile characterized by extreme avoidance of everyday demands and expectations. Not defiance — an anxiety-driven nervous system response to perceived loss of autonomy.
PDA (identified by Elizabeth Newson, 1980s) is a profile of autism where the central feature is an anxiety-driven need to avoid demands — even demands the person WANTS to do.
Key features: avoiding everyday requests (even pleasant ones like "let's go to the park"), using social strategies to avoid (distraction, excuses, withdrawal), extreme need for control and autonomy, mood lability, and appearing sociable on the surface (unlike the autism stereotype).
PDA is not defiance or laziness. It's an autonomic nervous system response — demands trigger fight/flight. Even self-imposed demands ("I should brush my teeth") can trigger avoidance. Traditional autism strategies (routine, visual schedules) often backfire because they add more demands.
What helps: reducing demands to absolute minimums, offering choices instead of instructions, using indirect language ("I wonder if..." instead of "please do..."), and building a trust-based relationship rather than a compliance-based one.