Isikhathi sokugula akusikho naso. Uhlolo olusha lokuzibhekameza oluqondene nokufisa, ukugwema izindawo, nezinto, kanye nobunzima bokuqonda kinabhobho elisha. Ithuluzi lokuzibhekameza, hhayi isigamulelo somungshi.
Ayikho okubhalisa—imiphumela yakho iyavela kabini.
DSM-5-TR Prolonged Grief Disorder diagnostic criteria (APA, 2022) · Original 16 items grounded in the DSM-5-TR criteria domains (yearning, identity disruption, avoidance, difficulty moving forward, numbness/trust) and the Prigerson et al. (2009) psychometric validation of those criteria — not the copyrighted Inventory of Complicated Grief (Prigerson et al. 1995), which we do not administer.
Cha. Ithuluzi lokuzibhekameza elilungile, hhayi isigamulelo somungshi. Alukwazi ukutshela ukuthi unesisikhathi sokugula esisindiswe ngendlela yomungshi—kuphela umuntu ongumbongi onelayisensi okungakwenza lokho, futhi isigamulelo sibhekiswa ekukhuleni isikhathi. Okuthi alukwazi ukukunikeza ifoto elula yokuthi isikhathi sokugula sibonakala njani kulezi langa.
Hhayi. Umuntu oyedwa alina isikhathi esininginiziwe, futhi ibonakala ngokwahlukene ngokuya kobudlelwane, izinto ezenzeke ngezinye izikhathi, kanye nomuntu owagula. Lolu hlolo lubuza ngezinye izikhathi kusukela ekuswelekeni ngaphandle kokuba lobu bunzi bugadile.
Azikibuye ngempela. I-DSM-5-TR ibheka isikhathi sokugula njengenkinga somungshi kuphela lapho izimpawu ziyisindiswe, kuphela kunakala 2105 ekusemtwalweni abadulini (imibuzo eyisithupha abantwanyana), futhi kusindiswe ezweni. Isikolo esiphakamisele emva kwesikhathi esingako kukhona inzuzo yokuluswa okushisayo esanda, hhayi inkhuba ebambisile—lolu hlolo lutengiwe ukuze kuluswa okukubusha akukwazi ukushiwo njengesikhathi sokugula esisindiswe.
Cha. Akukho indlela engalungile yokugula. Lolu hlolo likhona ukuze kubone lapho isikhathi sokugula sokuluswa okudwelelwe kude singabe sesigwebe, inkhuba yemvelo ekwazele, hhayi ukuwela umuntu. Isikhathi sokugula esinzima seso asini ikhalimela nokuthi umuntu wayethanda umuntu oyedwa kanjani.
Ukuthatha okuhlolwa kwethu akumele kubhekwe njengokuhlolwa okugcwele nokunemba kwamandla akho. Imiphumela iyenhloso yokuthola ulwazi kanye nokuzibuyisela kuphela.
Isikhathi sokugula akusikho naso. Uhlolo olusha lokuzibhekameza oluqondene nokufisa, ukugwema izindawo, nezinto, kanye nobunzima bokuqonda kinabhobho elisha. Ithuluzi lokuzibhekameza, hhayi isigamulelo somungshi.
Lolu hlolo lubheka isikhathi sokugula ngezinye ezinhlanu ezisuka ezimfihlakwazini ze-DSM-5-TR zokuluswa okudwelelwe kude: ukufisa okushisayo noma ukufisa umuntu owafika, ukuvukelwa kwazwi lokuba kunena kanti noba ngothi umuntu, ukugwema izindawo, abantu, izinto, ezibuyisela ukuluswa okushisayo, ubunzima bokuqonda noma ukuya kwembala emnandi, nokunuka okunzima noma ubunzima bukunethemba abantu. Libuza nokukhulu isikhathi lapho kusukela ekuswelekeni, ngoba lokhu kubaluleka kunangaphezu kweNsibanandlela eyodwa: inzuzo efanayo yokufisa ingafika njengesinxenye esijwayelekile sokugula ekuswelekeni noma ekubhiyeni izinyanga nezeminyaka emva, isiboniso sokuthi isikhathi sokugula sesigwebe sinzima nesinzile.
Akukho isikhathi esininginiziwe sokugula, futhi ibonakala ngokwahlukene ngokuya kobudlelwane, izinto ezenzeke ngezinye izikhathi, kanye nomuntu owagula. Lolu hlolo alukutshela ukuthi ugula ngendlela engalungile noma nesikhathi esingalungile. Likhona ukuze kubone umehluko phakathi kokugula okuqhubeka nokushintsha, ngisho lapho kusengumuhle, nokugula okuzikhele, okushaye umuntu u-DSM-5-TR ubiza ngokuluswa okudwelelwe kude. Lowo mehluko ubhekiswa ekukhuleni nekarubini, hhayi ekusindiseni ukuthi umuntu wayethanda kakhulu umuntu owafika: izimpawu zidinga ukuqhubeka no-2105 ukuze isigamulelo sokuluswa okudwelelwe kude sigalibe esweni lokuziphilela, futhi kumele sice ngaphezulu kwakulekelwa umuntu nomkhuba.
Lolu hlolo yithuluzi lokuzibhekameza, hhayi ukuxilongwa, futhi akusikhundlela sokundlela ngochwepheshe onelayisensi. Libhekiswe kumfihlakwazi we-DSM-5-TR ohunyatheliswe ngekhasimende lokugula okudwelelwe kude, hhayi esiwaphakamiseleni, futhi aluzameli ukukutshela. Uma imiphumela yakho kanye nesikhathi sakho kuyikho okubonayo inkhuba ebambisile, umuntu ongumbongi ocwaninga isikhathi sokugula okudwelelwe kude, inzalamane nezikhathi sokugula esinzima, iyinzalamane elungile. Uma ekuswelekeni kwakho kwakubusha, imithwalo yentshisekelo, ekuhlanganisweni kwemvubu, noma ongumbonzi wezikhathi sokugula, angasiza nakuba ngaphandle kwenkhinga somungshi.
Bona ukuthi ufisa yini umuntu owafika, futhi ukuthola lokho okufana nesikhathi esalelwa kusukela ekuswelekeni.
Yazi ukuthini ezweni lokuba kunena kanti noba ngothi — ukuthi ubungane bakho, umuntu onomuntu, noba owakho wavukwa ngisi simakizela, okulungile.
Qonda umkhuba wakho wokugwema — ukuthi ugwema kanjani izindawo, abantu, noma izinto ezibuyisela isikhathi sokugula.
Bona ukuthi imomento emangalisayo kwembalo elisha ivakale engaba kanti noba ikude kakhulu.
Yazi ukuthi nuka okunzima noma ubunzima bukunethemba abantu bavele lapho kuswelekeni.
Ziphakamisele ngodlela olusha oluzwakala, olungamukeleka ngochwepheshe wezikhathi sokugula noma umuntu ongumbongi uma ufisa.
How long ago did you lose the person you're thinking about?
Imibuzo 16, 4 imizuzu. Ayazisulisela—ayikho okwenjenje omuntu.
Okuboniswe kabini yobu wakho. Mahhala, okusetshenziswayo, okugcinile nxa ubhalise.
Epremiyamu ivula imphumela ephelele—umsebenzi, amandla, umhlela othuthuka.