What Is Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love?
Short Answer
Sternberg's theory proposes that love has three components: **intimacy** (emotional closeness, understanding), **passion** (sexual and romantic desire), and **commitment** (decision to maintain the relationship). Different combinations create different love types—and the balance shifts over time.
Full Answer
Intimacy is emotional connection: knowing and being known, vulnerability, trust, and comfort. It develops slowly through repeated positive interaction and is the foundation of deep relationships.
Passion is the spark—sexual desire, romantic intensity, and physical attraction. It's high early (infatuation) and typically fades over time, though it can be rekindled through novelty and deliberate effort.
Commitment is the decision to stay and nurture the relationship through challenges. It can exist without passion (long-term partnerships with low sexual desire) or intimacy (some marriages are functional but distant).
The combinations create different relationships: Infatuation (passion alone) is exciting but unstable. Empty love (commitment without intimacy or passion) is hollow. Romantic love (intimacy + passion, no commitment) is intense but risky. Fatuous love (passion + commitment without intimacy) is what causes people to marry quickly and regret it.
Consummate love (all three) is the goal—and it's rare to maintain all three simultaneously because passion naturally declines. Successful long-term couples actively rebuild intimacy (date nights, vulnerability) to sustain it and normalize that passion cycles rather than disappears. Research (Reis, 2006) confirms that couples who maintain novelty (travel, shared challenges, new experiences) preserve higher passion.
Find Out for Yourself
Take the free Sternberg Love Triangle test — instant results, no signup required.
Take the Free Sternberg Love Triangle TestRelated Questions
Should I worry if passion fades after the first year?▼
No, that's normal neurochemistry (dopamine decline). It's a sign to invest in intimacy and novelty, not a sign love is dying. Couples who understand this adjustment make it successfully.
Can you have a good relationship with only intimacy and commitment but no passion?▼
Depends on both partners' needs. Some couples thrive in companion-love relationships. Others feel unfulfilled without passion and may seek it elsewhere. Explicit conversation is essential.
How do I revive passion in a long-term relationship?▼
Novelty, risk, and vulnerability. Travel, new experiences, honest conversations, and—if there's willingness—exploring sexuality together. Passion follows from **breaking routine and deepening intimacy**.