What's a repair attempt?

A bid to restart connection during conflict. "I'm sorry." "This sucks—let's start over." Humor. A touch. It signals: "I still care about you, and I want to fix this." Gottman's research shows couples who successfully repair have 50%+ lower divorce rates.

Does every repair attempt have to be accepted?

For success, yes. If one partner offers a repair and the other dismisses it, conflict escalates. But if both partners practice accepting repairs (saying "I'm sorry" genuinely and being willing to be soothed), conflict cycles break.

What if repair attempts feel fake?

They won't at first—sincerity comes with practice. Start small: a smile, a touch, "I'm frustrated, but I love you." Over time, repair feels natural. And even if it feels awkward, the effort matters. You're teaching your partner you're willing to reconnect.